Slap Mac. It Screams Back.
The professional slap mac app.
Slap your MacBook. It screams back. Now with 320kbps audio, AI slap detection, and Slack notifications. Because enterprise grief management deserves professional tooling.
↑ tap to slap
slaps
macOS 14.0 Sonoma or later · Apple Silicon & Intel · Requires a MacBook (obviously)
Why Pro?
Enterprise-grade MacBook abuse.
We took a silly app and added features that make enterprise buyers genuinely consider it. Mostly as a joke. But they keep asking for SCIM.
320kbps Premium Screams
Studio-quality audio recorded in a soundproofed booth. Your MacBook deserves to sound its best while suffering.
AI Slap Pattern Analysis™
Our proprietary ML model tracks your slap frequency, force distribution, and emotional state. Identifies if you need a vacation.
Webhook Notifications
Fire a webhook on every slap. Notify Slack, trigger a CI/CD pipeline, or alert your therapist. Real integration. Really.
Multi-Mac Sync
Connect multiple MacBooks on the same network. Slap one, all scream together. Great for open offices. Or revenge.
Slap Analytics Dashboard
Daily/weekly/monthly slap heatmaps, peak rage hours, and productivity correlation charts. Exported as CSV on request.
Custom Voice Upload
Record your own screams or upload audio from any source. 24+ formats supported. No questions asked.
SOC 2 Compliant Fury
Enterprise-grade security for your emotional outbursts. Audit logs, SSO via SAML 2.0, and role-based slap permissions.
Unlimited Voice Packs
All 8 voice personalities included. Plus new packs added monthly. Current fan favourite: "Disappointed Engineer".
8 Voice Personalities
Every MacBook has a type.
130+ clips per pack. All recorded with actual humans who were paid extra for emotional commitment.
Simple pricing
No subscriptions.
One slap. One price.
- ✓2 voice packs (130+ clips each)
- ✓Basic force detection
- ✓Slap counter
- ✓Menu bar integration
- ✓Everything in free
- ✓All 8 voice packs (1,000+ clips)
- ✓320kbps lossless audio
- ✓AI Slap Pattern Analysis™
- ✓Webhook notifications
- ✓Multi-Mac Sync
- ✓Custom voice upload
- ✓Analytics dashboard
- ✓Priority support
30-day money-back guarantee. No questions. We understand.
| Feature | Free | Pro |
|---|---|---|
| Voice packs | 2 packs | All 8 packs |
| Audio quality | 192kbps | 320kbps lossless |
| AI Slap Analysis | ✗ | ✓ |
| Webhook notifications | ✗ | ✓ |
| Multi-Mac sync | ✗ | ✓ |
| Custom voice upload | ✗ | ✓ |
| Analytics dashboard | ✗ | ✓ |
| Priority support | ✗ | ✓ |
| Enterprise SSO | ✗ | Add-on |
Testimonials
Real people. Questionable choices.
“I submitted a bug report to Apple about my MacBook screaming back at me. They said it was working as intended.”
@devhell_
“My stand-up calls have improved significantly since my MacBook started expressing pain when I miss a deadline.”
@10xengineer
“Finally, a monitoring tool that alerts me when I'm in a toxic relationship with my laptop.”
@sre_has_feelings
“We added the Slack webhook to our company workspace. Productivity is down but morale has never been higher.”
@cto_vibes
FAQ
You have questions.
We have concerns.
What is the Slap Mac App?
SlapMac Pro is the original slap mac app— a macOS menu bar utility that listens to your MacBook's built-in accelerometer 24/7. The moment you slap your MacBook, it screams back. Loudly. Dramatically. Professionally.
The idea is simple: your MacBook has a motion sensor (the same one that protects your hard drive). The slapmac app repurposes that sensor to detect physical impacts and immediately plays a vocal reaction through your speakers. Force scales volume. Personality scales drama.
SlapMac Pro upgrades the experience with studio-quality 320kbps audio, 8 voice pack personalities, AI slap pattern analysis, and integrations that make no rational sense but somehow ship features faster.
How does slapping your Mac work?
Every modern MacBook contains a Sudden Motion Sensor (SMS) — an accelerometer originally designed to park your hard drive when it detects a fall. The slap mac app reads this sensor continuously from the macOS menu bar.
When the sensor detects an impact above your configured sensitivity threshold, SlapMac Pro calculates the force vector magnitude, maps it to a volume level, selects a random reaction clip from your active voice pack, and plays it through CoreAudio — all within milliseconds of your slap MacBook moment.
The Pro version adds an AI layerthat identifies your slap patterns over time, detects escalating stress, and — optionally — fires a Slack webhook so your manager knows you're having a moment.
Why SlapMac Pro is the best slap mac app on macOS
- ✓Uses the MacBook's native accelerometer — no hardware required
- ✓Supports all MacBook models (M1 / M2 / M3 / M4 / Intel) on macOS 14+
- ✓1,000+ voice clips across 8 personalities — never hear the same scream twice
- ✓Slap mac app runs silently in the menu bar — zero UI, zero distraction
- ✓AI slap analysis tracks patterns and intensity over time
- ✓Webhook API: post to Slack or any URL when you slap your MacBook
- ✓Multi-Mac Sync — slap one, all scream together (LAN)
- ✓Custom voice upload — use your own audio for the perfect slap mac reaction
- ✓No subscription — one-time $9.99 with lifetime updates
- ✓30-day money-back guarantee on the pro slap mac app
Your MacBook is ready
to suffer professionally.
Join thousands of developers, designers, and people having a very bad day who've made their MacBook an emotional outlet. $9.99. One time. Lifetime of guilt.
macOS 14.0+ · Apple Silicon & Intel · No subscription · 30-day guarantee